Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
