okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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