doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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