Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
