In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
