I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
