oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
