So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
