I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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