This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
