oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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