Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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