I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
