I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
