So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Randomize
