Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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