Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
