So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
