Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
