TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
