I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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