I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
