You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
