ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
