why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
