weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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