I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
