just come out here and I will go home with you...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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