just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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