is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
