whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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