get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
