My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
