I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
