I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
