Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
