I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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