I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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