I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
