The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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