My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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