Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
