getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize