wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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