So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
