Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
