he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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