I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
