Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
