He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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