TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
