You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
