He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
