just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
